If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
