If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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