I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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