I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So. Much. Porn.
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