My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize