All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I checked into jail on foursquare
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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