i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
