when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
