remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
