Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
