Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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