you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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