last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
