I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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