Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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