girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
