mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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