STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
