He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize