I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
