Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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