So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
