i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
