and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
