You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
