so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
