just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
