We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
