I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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