i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize