Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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