i will never coherently bang her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
