i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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