Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
