Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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