...so i touched it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize