The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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