last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
