Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
