Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
17 year olds will be the death of me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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