So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize