i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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