how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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