Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
