there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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