Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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