Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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