and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
