piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
