Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So much Jack, so little girl.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
