These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I would ride that face into the sunset
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
