just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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