I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
