I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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