I want to make a zoo with you.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
