I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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