Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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