Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
