I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
