Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
