Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
