woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize